


Death Condition

by MythMonarchOfDarkness



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Angst with a sad ending, Choose Your Own Ending, Hurt Morality | Patton Sanders, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Lonely Morality | Patton Sanders, Morality | Patton Sanders Angst, Morality | Patton Sanders-centric, Touch-Starved, Touch-Starved Morality | Patton Sanders, post pof
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-05
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:42:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27889966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MythMonarchOfDarkness/pseuds/MythMonarchOfDarkness
Summary: Every side had a ‘death condition’, an event or item of some sort that could ‘kill’ them. Dying for a side was nothing like ducking out, their job, their aspect would just become something automatic as opposed to vanishing along with them. Rather than having a side argue and convince Thomas of their point, Thomas had to do it on his own. For Patton, it would be similar to Thomas choosing honesty despite Janus masquerading as Thomas’s Morality.A Patton angst with three possible endings! Choose wisely.
Relationships: Morality | Patton Sanders & Everyone
Comments: 26
Kudos: 74





	1. Touch

**Author's Note:**

> This is set after Putting Others First and the Asides could be considered to have occurred during this.  
> Constructive Criticism is appreciated.  
> TW: Death is a prevalent theme.

Every side had a ‘death condition’, an event or item of some sort that could ‘kill’ them. Dying for a side was nothing like ducking out, their job, their aspect would just become something automatic as opposed to vanishing along with them. Rather than having a side argue and convince Thomas of their point, Thomas had to do it on his own. For Patton, it would be similar to Thomas choosing honesty despite Janus masquerading as Thomas’s Morality.

For each of the dark sides, only two knew of their death conditions, Janus, being the keeper of all secrets within Thomas, and themself. For the light sides things worked a bit differently, they had long decided it was safer for at least one other side to know in case something happened. That knowledge had come in handy all of once, _Patton doesn’t want to think about how different things would be if they had lost Logan that day._ Not too long ago Virgil had even joined in, telling Patton of his own worst case scenario.

Roman had told Logan, Logan had told Patton, and Patton had told no one. It wasn’t that Patton didn’t trust them or wanted it to be a secret, Patton just didn’t think it was a concern. For Patton, an accidental death would be near impossible, it would be long and slow and painful. Honestly Patton’s was less of a single event or object and more a withholding of something important. Patton thought of his condition as a sort of starvation by touch. It’s not really starvation, Patton didn’t lose weight or muscle without touch. He did, however, lose energy, becoming exhausted quicker and quicker, feeling as though an agonizing void had opened up within him sucking away at what energy he gained from sleeping and eating, his muscles protesting every movement.

**………………………………………………………………………..**

The last video had been about a month ago, 32 days to be exact. 32 days since Patton and Janus had their first truly civil conversation, without any underhanded moves or mistrust, since childhood. 32 days since the others had begun avoiding Patton. 32 days since Logan, despite claims of forgiveness for Patton’s thoughtless actions, had told Patton not to bother him for a while. 32 days since Roman held his sword between them and advised Patton to stay far away from him. 32 days since Virgil had asked that Patton leave him alone. 32 days since Logan had leaned against Patton while reading a book, since Roman had randomly given him a hug in the hall, since Virgil had curled up against Patton on the couch.

31 full days since Patton had experienced touch. The only interaction Patton had undergone in that time was Roman, across the room from him, apologizing for his harsh words and stating he still was not ready to talk with Patton, never letting Patton say a word. With that sole exception, the others either waited until Patton left whatever room they wished to enter, or left when Patton entered. The agonizing void within him no longer bothered Patton, he could hardly feel anything but his deep exhaustion.

Patton knew the three were doing well, Patton could often hear them in the living room. Hanging out together far more often than they ever had before this. When Patton was careful he was sometimes able to actually see what they were doing; Logan smiling and showing off a book, Roman giving Virgil sword lessons or telling a tale of adventure, Virgil showing them pictures from what looked like a sketch book. It was both heartwarming, seeing his boys being so happy together, and heartbreaking, they had never done this when he was a part of the group. It didn’t matter, he hadn’t had the energy to check on them in days.

**…………………………………………………………………..**

Patton finished making breakfast, although it was more of an early lunch, it was getting harder and harder to get up these days. Since the video Patton had set the table and put out plates for everyone, in hopes of luring someone out with food but they hadn’t come. After each meal he would wrap each of their plates and put it in the fridge, the plates would later end up cleaned in the sink and it didn’t look like the food had been thrown away so Patton assumed they were eating it. Truthfully Patton didn’t feel all that hungry anymore, about all he felt was sore and tired, but he knew without eating it would only get worse faster.

Today, however, Patton just stared at the food and glanced at the dining room with an empty table he hadn’t gotten around to setting. _Was it even worth the effort? They wouldn’t come._ Patton grabbed a single plate and after sorting out some food for himself, he put the rest away. The others would be able to grab their own plates, Patton had already done the cooking. Patton sat at the table and ate, knowing he would need to start making lunch soon. Patton would make something big, hopefully the leftovers would last a few days, Patton wasn’t sure how much longer he’d be able to cook.

**……………………………………………………………..**

33 days.

Yesterday’s ‘lunch’ should last the other three a week, maybe, if they kept to smaller portions. 

It had taken Patton over an hour to get out of bed today, maybe cooking had used too much energy, maybe Patton was running out of time. Either way today Patton would throw something together for himself, he had a small fridge in his room. Having food there would make it easier, coming all the way to the kitchen was a lot of energy and at this rate… Patton was sure he wouldn’t be able to make the trip much longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are 3 Endings to this story, choose wisely. If you choose to read all three I heavily suggest you go in order. Below is some extra information to help with your choice
> 
> Ending 1:Dark Side (Chapter 2)  
> \- Happy Ending  
> \- Not everything gets addressed  
> \- Medium length  
> Ending 2:Light Side (Chapter 3)  
> \- Happy Ending  
> \- In my opinion, the best possible ending for Patton  
> \- Long  
> Ending 3:Goodbye (Chapter 4)  
> \- Sad Ending, Character Death  
> \- Shortest Possible Ending


	2. Dark Side

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for choosing this ending! Or choosing to read all the endings, that works too.  
> This is the first good ending.
> 
> Again feel free to tell me what you thought of the chapter or leave constructive criticism.  
> TW:Refeeding Syndrome is mentioned but not present or talked about.

Patton threw some more fruit in the basket he was taking upstairs, _plants are supposed to have more energy than meat right?_ Patton would ask Logan but… for obvious reasons he couldn’t. Patton picked up the overflowing basket, this could last a week if rationed right. He’d be back for more tomorrow. Patton figured he’d keep making the journey down until he couldn’t and by that time he’d have enough stocked up to last until the… the end.

Patton was shocked by the sound of someone rising up behind him, sides typically only doing when traveling between different areas of the mindscape or when coming and going from the outside. Patton turned to face whoever had come and was surprised to see-

“Janus? What are you doing here?” Janus merely narrowed his eyes, traveling from Patton’s slumped posture and tired eyes to the basket full of food.

“Remus was annoying me and... I thought after our last interaction you... might not mind my dropping by for a chat. I take it this is a bad time. Are you light sides having a picnic somewhere?”

“Ah, no,” Patton glances at the basket in his hands, “I’m bringing it to my room, the others still aren’t very happy with me after the last video.”

“Patton?” Janus took a step closer, “What do you mean, they ‘aren’t very happy with’ you,” Janus raised his hand and placed it against Patton’s cheek.

Even through the glove, Janus’s hand felt like an inferno against his skin, a glass of water in a desert, oxygen in space. The basket hit the ground as Patton’s hands gripped Janus’s, holding it in place. Patton’s knees buckled at the rush from the small contact after so long without. Janus without hesitating captured Patton in a hug, holding him close. Tears filled Patton’s eyes, as for the first time in so long, the painful void within him, that he had grown so used to, closed, becoming all the more obvious in it’s absence.

“How, how long has, how long has it been?” the shock clear in Janus’s shaky voice. Both knew exactly what he was referring to.

“34 days.” Janus squeezed Patton tightly. Janus started sinking out pulling Patton with him. Patton didn’t know where Janus was taking him and honestly, as long as Janus didn’t let go, Patton didn’t care.

**………………………………………………………..**

“Janny~ where’d you go?” Remus’s voice echoed as the pair rose up in the dark side common room.

“Janny~ wait, is that Pops? What’s he doing here?” the echoey quality abruptly leaving Remus’s voice, “What happened? Why is he crying? I haven’t done anything to make him cry.”

Janus quickly moved Patton, and by extension himself, to the couch. 

“May I tell him? He’s going to find out at some point, it will probably take awhile to… fix you.” Patton just nodded while trying to remain as close to Janus as physically possible.

“He got far too close to his death condition.” Remus became eerily still. Remus, for all he will joke about wanting to permanently disfigure or kill another side, would never actually wish death on another side, having just barely avoided his own in the past and having been witness to a side who wasn’t so lucky.

“What,” his voice dark and even, sounding more like a statement than the question it was. “It’s fine now right? You’ve gotten him away from his ‘situation’?”

“Not quite yet. Patton has a more complicated, long-term condition, ‘starvation of touch.’” Remus just gave Janus a blank look. “Contact with other sides acts as another sort-of food or energy source. He has, essentially, been starved and it could take a long time for him to recover.” 

Janus looked at Patton, curled up in his lap and clutching onto him, and began to shift him off. “Patton, you need to let go now.” Patton merely whimpered in response as Remus raised an eyebrow. “We don’t know how similar to food touch is for you, it's dangerous to feed a starving person too much too quickly, it might be the same for you with touch. I really don’t want to find out if you have your own version of refeeding syndrome.”

Patton reluctantly released Janus, he didn’t know what refeeding syndrome was but Janus looked worried.

Janus ran his hand through Patton’s hair one final time, “Just stay here and focus on regaining energy, we’ll take care of you.”

“Yeah,” Remus summoned a fluffy blanket covered in images of skulls, bones, bats, and spider webs -but thankfully no spiders. He quickly wrapped Patton within the dark, fluffy blanket.

 **……………………………………………………..**  
Patton was put on a strict schedule of contact, with the amount increasing each day. It was a bit strange at first, the contact ranged from hand holding to being wrapped in Remus’s tentacles to having Janus curl around him in snake form. Even when Patton wasn’t allowed anymore touch, one of them was often chatting or watching TV with him. Janus kept a close eye out for problems that may result from the starvation or the reintegration of touch, there weren’t any. Janus still insisted they take things slowly, better safe than sorry.

It took less than a week for Patton’s room to appear in the nearby hallway, proving that Patton was now a dark side, or at least that Patton considered himself one and was accepted by the dark sides (Janus and Remus were the most active in helping Patton, but the others sometimes stopped by for chats). [It would be a while before any of them would know of the light sides freak out and manhunt upon finding Patton’s door gone.]

Even after his room appeared Janus kept Patton on the couch for a week for ease of monitoring.

All and all, it took about 2 months before Janus dropped the schedule. Although they had basically been ignoring it for at least a week before that. It was another month before the dark sides completely settled into their new normal.

**………………………………………………………………**

Patton smiled as one of Remus’s tentacles wrapped itself around his arm as he handed Remus his most recent kitchen experiment (increasing the temperature does not lead to a faster bake time). Janus just shook his head trying not to laugh, knowing that particular experiment was only repeated when Patton decided Remus hadn’t eaten enough. Half a year after that video and Patton was doing fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Patton definitely kept that blanket, after thoroughly checking it for spiders, and it remains his favorite.  
> The extra steps with Janus having a schedule were unnecessary, Patton would not have been harmed by too much contact, but Janus didn’t know and was being careful.
> 
> There are 3 Endings to this story, choose wisely. If you choose to read all three I heavily suggest you go in order. Below is some extra information to help with your choice
> 
> Ending 1:Dark Side (Chapter 2)  
> \- Happy Ending  
> \- Not everything gets addressed  
> \- Medium length  
> Ending 2:Light Side (Chapter 3)  
> \- Happy Ending  
> \- In my opinion, the best possible ending for Patton  
> \- Long  
> Ending 3:Goodbye (Chapter 4)  
> \- Sad Ending, Character Death  
> \- Shortest Possible Ending


	3. Light Side

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for choosing this ending! Or choosing to read all the endings, that works too.  
> This is the second good ending.
> 
> Again feel free to tell me what you thought of the chapter or leave constructive criticism.  
> TW: Incoming panic attack averted by the 4-7-8 breathing pattern, fainting

Patton threw some more fruit in the basket he was taking upstairs, _plants are supposed to have more energy than meat right?_ Patton would ask Logan but… for obvious reasons he couldn’t. Patton picked up the overflowing basket, this could last a week if rationed right. He’d be back for more tomorrow. Patton figured he’d keep making the journey down until he couldn’t and by that time he’d have enough stocked up to last until the… the end.  
……………………………………………………………………………..

It seemed that this would be Patton’s last trip. It was only his fourth day of bringing food up to his room, but he seemed to be deteriorating faster and faster. Patton stumbled as he tried to keep moving, the hour break he’d taken in the kitchen seeming to have done nothing. _Patton was just so tired._

Patton made it to the hallway, he was almost to his room. He could take a nap on the floor there. Patton leaned heavily on the wall. He started to slip.

Patton’s sight when black, wait no, he saw... the floor? Patton was just too tired for this.

………………………………………………………………………………..

Logan’s alarm went off, signaling that it was time to collect lunch. Even after all this time it was strange not to hear Patton call everyone for a meal, he hadn’t bothered to do so in two weeks and three days. It took longer than expected for the irrational anger, hurt, and feelings of betrayal from Patton’s actions to fade, Logan knew Patton had not meant to cause such feelings. Patton had even apologized for it, even if he hadn’t known the full extent of the pain he caused; he gave Logan hope and excitement, actually asking for his knowledge, his input, and brutally tore it away.

No time since had seemed appropriate to approach the moral side and repair their friendship, as well as discuss new boundaries to avoid this reoccurring. Every time Logan had seen him, Patton had been in the kitchen looking exhausted. Logan knew the conversation would be a draining one and quite honestly, it was not one Logan looked forward to, so he put it off.

The alarm continued its incessant ringing, growing steadily louder. 

Logan let out a small sigh, saving the latest rendition of Thomas’s schedule and closing his laptop before turning off the alarm. Logan double checked that his dinner alarm was set. He then stood and approached the door. Logan was concerned about Patton, he had stopped setting up plates for the sides and had just left a large amount of leftovers for Logan and the rest to make their own plates. Roman and Virgil had both shared their own concerns at their last meet up, both sides waiting for Logan, as he had the least grievances, to have his own conversation with Patton before they thought about theirs.

Logan absentmindedly opened the door, planning out different ways to possibly convince one of the others to talk with Patton first. Or he tried to open the door, it stopped with a gap of just a few inches. Logan looked down to try and discover what blocked his door and to his shock there was a bare foot. Whomever it was attached to hadn’t made a sound or even moved upon being hit with the door… someone was lying unconscious in the hallway. That was definitely bad. 

Logan slowly and carefully pushed the door open until he could slip through. It was Patton. He was face down, slumped over a basket. Logan quickly made his way to Roman’s door, Patton needed to be moved immediately and Roman was the strongest. If Logan’s knock was more powerful than normal and lacked the typical steady pattern, he didn’t notice.

“Roman I require your assistance immediately. This is an emergency.”

Logan returned to Patton’s side and began shifting him off the basket as carefully as possible in case of unseen injury.

“What’s wrong?!” Roman’s door slammed open. The sound echoing through the light side of the mind palace.

“I need you to carry him to the couch in the living room.” Logan backed up to give Roman some room to grab Patton, but nothing happened. Roman was frozen, staring at Patton’s limp body with a mixture of shock and horror.

“Roman! Focus. I need you to carry him to the couch.” Roman’s entire body made a jerking motion before he shook his head and then nodded.

“Got it.” Roman kneeled next to Patton, slipping his arms under and gently flipping him before lifting Patton bridal style.

They quickly made their way to the living room where Logan instructed Roman to place Patton on his left, “not your left, his” side. Logan didn’t know if it would help in this situation but it had to be better than nothing.

Roman looked to Logan for what to do next. Logan didn’t know what to do. He had to think, take stock. Logan focused in on Patton, who… looked pretty bad. There were deep bags under his eyes, not dissimilar to Virgil’s eyeshadow, his skin was an unnatural pallor. The buttons on his polo were mostly undone and his clothes were wrinkled and messy, neither his cat hoodie nor cardigan graced his shoulders. Patton wasn’t even wearing shoes or socks. Whatever caused him to collapse in the hallway was likely not sudden, but Logan still didn’t know what it could be. The basket… maybe there was a clue there?

“Roman go get the basket from the hall… and tell Virgil what’s going on,” Virgil would panic even more later if this was kept from him. Roman practically sprinted out of the room.

Logan reached down, placing his hand on Patton’s forehead. No fever, not that Logan expected one. Patton wasn’t human, the only time he’d ever experienced illness was when Thomas was ‘love sick’, something that Thomas most definitely was not.

It couldn’t be lack of sleep, while it would make Patton tired and grouchy it wouldn’t cause him to suddenly collapse. 

No matter how much Logan tried to avoid thinking about it, there seemed to only be two possibilities; either another side had done this to him, or….or this had something to do with his death condition. Neither was good. Logan would have to rule out the worst possibility first, he would have to ask Roman about Patton’s death condition when he returned. In the meantime, Logan turned the nearby armchair to face the couch and sat down.

Logan didn’t want to admit it but he was scared.

……………………………………………..  
It felt like hours, watching Patton just lie there, before Roman returned with Virgil in tow. Virgil shot off from Roman’s side to the couch and froze, staring down at Patton’s unmoving form. Logan rose to take the basket from Roman. Roman joined Virgil although he didn’t appear to be able to look at Patton, his eyes sliding off Patton, attempting to focus on anything else. Roman took one more look at Virgil, once more following his line of sight back to the unconscious side, before, with a flick of his wrist, summoning a fluffy blanket decorated in dogs and cats. He laid it upon the unconscious side.

Logan, turning his gaze to the basket in his arms, decided asking Roman could wait a moment more, to let him settle. The basket was filled with...food? Why food? Why so much? Was Patton perhaps planning on holding up in his room? Clearly this wouldn’t be the case breaking clue, Logan was hoping for.

“Roman… I need you to tell me what Patton’s death condition is. It’s...the only thing I can think of...to have...maybe...caused this,” Logan tried to keep it light, Virgil would be more terrified if Logan tried to keep this secret but that didn’t mean it wasn’t a terrifying thought anyway.

“Logan, why would I know, you’re the one he told.”

“No. I had been under the impression that he told you.” Virgil began trembling, his breaths became more pronounced. “Virgil, I need you to breathe, okay? Remember your pattern. If you need to leave the room and get some water please do.” Logan wasn’t sure he’d be able to deal with a full panic attack right now, but he also wasn’t sure how one could be avoided.

Virgil began tapping out his 4-7-8 breathing pattern on his thigh. However, he was still clearly distressed.

Logan didn’t know what to do. If he didn’t know why Patton was unconscious, how could he possibly help? Why hadn’t Patton said anything about his condition? Could his condition have something to do with telling others? If that were the case it would have nothing to do with his current state. Then what else could be causing it? Was this caused by another side? Why? How would another side even cause this? Patton didn’t seem injured. Logan couldn’t think of any possibilities, which was frustrating… at the very least. 

Logan couldn’t do anything other than observe and hope Patton wakes up soon.

……………………………………………..

Virgil leaned on Roman as he began his breathing pattern. Roman, who was fiddling with his nails, clearly trying to distract himself from the situation. After about the third or fourth repetition of his pattern, Virgil had enough. This wasn’t helping. Virgil moved abruptly, startling Roman. Virgil moved the blanket covering Patton and proceeded to lay down, curling up against Patton as best he could.

Roman then covered both of them with the blanket and soon, Roman followed suit, sitting on the arm of the couch and resting his hand in Patton’s hair. Logan didn’t take long to join them, shifting the feet out of the way before sitting and letting Patton’s legs rest in his lap.

It wasn’t more than a few minutes before the three felt Patton shift; wrapping an arm around Virgil and pulling him closer, leaning his head into Roman’s hand, his legs twitching in Logan’s grasp. Patton settled back down quickly, not even waking up.

Logan carefully observed Patton, he looked less unnaturally still and more like he was having a long needed nap; as if some tenseness that Logan had overlooked before was gone. The bags beneath his eyes seemed lighter and Logan wasn’t sure but it seemed as if his sickly pale skin had regained the tiniest bit of color. Logan wasn’t sure what they were doing, if they were doing anything, but it seemed to be the correct course of action. 

Logan locked eyes first with Virgil, then with Roman. All three settled in trying to get as comfortable as possible without moving Patton, who knew how long they would be here.

………………………………………………..

Patton slowly approached the land of the conscious and was struck by how strange it was; the void no longer there causing agony and stealing his energy. Don’t get him wrong, Patton wasn’t gonna jump up and run around, he was still exhausted, just less so. It was strangely warm as well. Patton slowly opened his eyes to see...Virgil? Was this a dream? Wait, no. Now that Patton was awake he recognized the feeling, the inferno that came from touch emanating from his head, his feet, and everywhere Virgil’s curled up form contacted Patton’s own. This couldn’t be a dream, none of Patton’s dreams had contained the fatigue that plagued him in waking life.

“Ahh, you’re awake,” Logan’s quiet voice broke through Patton’s shock. A quick look showed Logan sitting at the end of the couch, Patton’s and Virgil’s legs in his lap.

“Wha-” Logan put a finger to his lips.

“Quiet. The two of them are asleep. I discovered you unconscious outside my door almost,” Logan looked over to the wall clock, “three and a half hours ago.”

“Sorry,” Patton whispered back, “I thought I’d make it back to my room.” That… only made Logan look more concerned, oops.

“You shouldn’t be passing out at all.” Patton merely winced, showing an expression that was more grimace than smile. “Does this have something to do with your death condition?”

“Yes…” came the response so quiet that had Logan not been looking directly at Patton he would have not even noticed it. Logan appeared aggravated.

“Why didn’t you tell either of us about your condition?”

“I had planned to tell you however things got busy and I didn’t think it mattered, I didn’t think it was a possibility. It’s not like it would have helped this, you all seem to hate me,” Patton threw a confused glance at Virgil before returning his eyes to Logan, “I don’t understand why you’re all here now anyway.”

Logan’s eyebrows scrunched together, “Patton we don’t and have never hated you. Even when Roman’s emotions got the best of him, he didn’t hate you. It’s just none of us were ready for the important discussions that need to occur.”

Patton began struggling to sit up, knowing that such a conversation would need all his attention. This woke the other two. Patton struggled to smother his whimper as Roman’s hand left his hair. 

Logan reached over and gently pushed Patton back down.

“No Patton. The conversations can wait a bit longer, your health is what’s most important now and truthfully, even with all the time we’ve had to let settle, I’m not sure those two have sorted through their emotions enough for their conversations yet.” Logan knew that with the fear today the others might not even want to have their conversations anymore, however it was important they do and express their emotions over the situation and what can be done to avoid causing such distress in the future.

Virgil upon seeing Patton awake just squished himself against Patton’s chest, wrapping his arms around Patton as best he could in their positions. Patton returned the favor. Roman summoned a pillow and did his best to place it under the pair, the accidental touches felt wonderful.

“Patton, what is your death condition? In order to keep this from happening again, we need to know,” Logan’s voice caused Patton and Roman to freeze, again, while Virgil just squeezed Patton as tightly as he could.

Patton buried his head in Virgil’s hair and muttered, “starvation of touch.”

“Would you please repeat that? I’m afraid I couldn’t understand you.”

Patton pulled his head up, “starvation of touch,” just loud enough for the other three to hear, before returning his face to its position in Virgil’s hair.

“What does that mean?” Roman looked to Logan for an answer.

“If I had to guess; a prolonged lack of physical contact could result in death. None of us have really been physical with Patton since the last video. His collapse likely means he was reaching his limit.” There was a clear pause as Logan, Roman, and Virgil processed how close they may have been to losing Patton.

Virgil’s hug was honestly painfully tight at this point, but Patton refused to say anything at the risk that he’d let go.

Patton was surprised to feel the couch shift underneath him, a quick look around revealed that Roman had enlarged the couch. Patton was surprised when Logan was the one to crawl up behind him, sandwiching Patton between himself and Virgil. The contact felt amazing. Roman ended up just laying on top of the three of them boxing Patton in. The warmth lured Patton back into sleep, a comfortable sleep so different then the cold, restless sleep he had experienced lately.

……………………………………………………..

The next week was strange, Patton was constantly in contact with someone, forced to sleep in the living room so his room wouldn’t affect whoever volunteered that night and vice versa. 

A few days later, when Patton could walk a lap around the entire light side without having to take a break, Logan sat Patton down and they talked. First Logan gave a long lecture about how dangerous it was for Patton to not say anything about his condition; how devastated they would have been if Patton had died. Then they had the conversation that Logan had been putting off for far too long. Logan explained that Patton had really hurt him when, after asking him to join the conversation and giving him hope he would be listened to, Patton then took it back. It had felt like a betrayal, like a kick when Logan was already down. Logan tells him the signals he had worked out with Roman and Virgil for when he feels that he isn’t listened to and Patton promises to watch for them as well. They discuss the misunderstanding of Patton asking for supporting evidence and Logan thinking he wanted any philosophers thoughts on similar ideas; both agreeing to be more clear and ask for clarifications in the future.

By the second week Logan declared that there was no need for constant contact. Nothing changed.

Roman was actually the second to sit and speak with Patton; about how hard it was for him that Patton chose to trust Janus, someone they barely knew over Roman. Especially so after Janus had manipulated Roman previously. Everything had been too fast and Roman had thought he was protecting them and couldn't understand why Patton would switch sides so easily. It was a long talk both explaining their thoughts and reasonings and promising to try and see the other’s perspective more in the future.

By the third week things with Logan and Roman had returned to a bit of an awkward normal, still with far more contact than was necessary and Patton had finally moved back into his own room. Virgil, however, remained clingy; holding onto Patton whenever he could. 

It was halfway through this third week that Virgil finally started his conversation. The largest problem was that no one had summoned him. Virgil knew Janus best out of everyone, he had history with Janus. Virgil wouldn’t say what his history with Janus was, just that it was bad. Patton hadn’t even considered calling Virgil to consult before letting Janus in. Furthermore Virgil’s absence throughout the video really scared him that they were going to abandon him and worse Virgil had been scared Patton would replace him with Janus. Most of this wasn’t Patton’s fault but it had been easiest to just blame Patton and Virgil felt terrible for doing that. They agreed more communication would be best.

……………………………………………………………………..

Patton smiled as he pulled tonight's dinner from the oven. Logan and Roman were setting the table as Virgil helped carry the rest of the dishes to the table. Roman had insisted on a feast to celebrate the most recent video on the importance of communication. Everyone knew it was really for the success of Roman’s most recent quest. It had been fun Roman had managed to convince all of them to go with and even got Logan to participate as a mage! Around five months after that video and Patton was doing fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Patton definitely keeps that blanket.  
> Fun fact for those reading all the endings in order: The only real difference between this and the first ending is Janus decides to put up with Remus being annoying instead of visiting.
> 
> There are 3 Endings to this story, choose wisely. If you choose to read all three I heavily suggest you go in order. Below is some extra information to help with your choice
> 
> Ending 1:Dark Side (Chapter 2)  
> \- Happy Ending  
> \- Not everything gets addressed  
> \- Medium length  
> Ending 2:Light Side (Chapter 3)  
> \- Happy Ending  
> \- In my opinion, the best possible ending for Patton  
> \- Long  
> Ending 3:Goodbye (Chapter 4)  
> \- Sad Ending, Character Death  
> \- Shortest Possible Ending


	4. Goodbye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for choosing this ending! Or choosing to read all the endings, that works too.  
> This is the bad ending.
> 
> Again feel free to tell me what you thought of the chapter or leave constructive criticism.  
> TW: Character Death

Patton threw some more fruit in the basket he was taking upstairs, _plants are supposed to have more energy than meat right?_ Patton would ask Logan but… for obvious reasons he couldn’t. Patton picked up the overflowing basket, this could last a week if rationed right. He’d be back for more tomorrow. Patton figured he’d keep making the journey down until he couldn’t and by that time he’d have enough stocked up to last until the… the end.

…………………………………………………………..

It seemed that this would be Patton’s last trip. It was only his fourth day of bringing food up to his room, but he seemed to be deteriorating faster and faster. Patton stumbled as he tried to keep moving, the hour break he’d taken in the kitchen seeming to have done nothing. _Patton was just so tired._

Patton made it to the hallway, he was almost to his room. He could take a nap on the floor there. Patton leaned heavily on the wall. He started to slip.

Patton just barely managed to catch himself on using the wall. Patton’s already slow journey seemed to become even slower as Patton practically dragged himself to his room.

As Patton closed his door, he swore he heard another door open. Didn’t matter. Patton didn’t even have enough energy to lower himself to the ground, simply collapsing, just barely managing to avoid landing on his basket. His new position was strange and uncomfortable as he landed on top of the miscellaneous items that covered his room. Patton didn’t bother to shift or try and make himself comfortable. He closed his eyes and there was nothing else.

…………………………………………………………..

It had been a week since the last time Patton had left his room. He lay curled up in the small nest that he had created, some comfort among the never ending pain and exhaustion. As time went on and the last of Patton’s energy left, he had found himself eating more and more of the food he had, in a vain attempt to gain more energy.

The only things Patton could really do was reminisce, eat, or sleep. Although even sleep tended to bring him right back to the memories, if not an inky darkness gone after what felt like seconds when the clock claimed hours. Each memory at first seemed sweet, happy, times when everything was good; Virgil’s badly hidden smile, Logan’s excited chattering about some new thing Thomas had just learned, Roman’s spontaneous Disney numbers, their voices echoing through his head. Yet, the memories were so bitter, so painful to be forced to rewatch them. The ever present pains of Patton’s current situation and the overbearing knowledge that he had hurt them, soured every echo of those happy times.

Patton reached for his food, well for his cookies, and was surprised to find only two left. Patton… he… would save them. Yeah, he would save them. At the very least he could... at the very least his last… at the very least a second cookie could see him out. It might be selfish, but Patton wanted one last comfort before the end.

…………………………………………………………..

Patton wasn’t sure how long it had been, too tired to watch the clock or remember the days. All Patton knew was the taste of chocolate chips upon his tongue and the growing shadows behind his eyes.

…………………………………………………………..

It was early in the day when Virgil woke up. He had gotten used to sleeping in until almost noon, with Patton no longer waking him, so it was strange for his clock to show 8:34 AM. Had something woken him up? There wasn’t any noise. He hadn’t woken with a start, so not a night terror. He turned his head slightly to look at the card on his nightstand, famILY.

All of them were getting worried. No one had seen any sign of Patton for a couple weeks now. Just his door, standing in the hall. All three of them had tried knocking on it, calling out to Patton, none had received an answer. Just because they hadn’t been ready to talk with him again, didn’t mean they wanted anything to happen, didn’t mean they loved Patton any less.

Since he was awake, Virgil may as well get up, have some cereal, perhaps try again at Patton’s door. Virgil was getting very close to having Princy break down the door.

Virgil threw his jacket on over his pajamas and opened his door.

He froze. Staring back at Virgil from across the hall was a black door. Still decorated with Patton’s name and his many stickers but black all the same. Virgil knew what this meant, he had seen the black door in the dark side hallway, so much darker than the grey doors that filled the rest of the hallway and darker still then the white doors here. Virgil knew he was staring at Patton’s grave.

47 days after that video and Patton was dead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was originally going to be the only ending.  
> Also the number was kind of important, according to the internet death by starvation occurs between 45 and 61 days.
> 
> Fun fact for those reading all the endings in order: The difference between this ending and he last is Patton having the energy to make it just a little further. Also Patton doesn't get a Creativitwin blanket this time
> 
> There are 3 Endings to this story, choose wisely. If you choose to read all three I heavily suggest you go in order. Below is some extra information to help with your choice
> 
> Ending 1:Dark Side (Chapter 2)  
> \- Happy Ending  
> \- Not everything gets addressed  
> \- Medium length  
> Ending 2:Light Side (Chapter 3)  
> \- Happy Ending  
> \- In my opinion, the best possible ending for Patton  
> \- Long  
> Ending 3:Goodbye (Chapter 4)  
> \- Sad Ending, Character Death  
> \- Shortest Possible Ending

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [To Be or Not to Be?](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28539744) by [Rub1l](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rub1l/pseuds/Rub1l)




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